If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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