so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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