just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
