come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
