someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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