I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms