Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.