Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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