Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
