Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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