you turned your livingroom into a bong?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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