the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
