on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
