I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
