dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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