I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
