no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
