I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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