I cockslap morals
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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