So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
