Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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