so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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