Its about making memories worth repressing
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
This is my gift to your gina
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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