I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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