Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
He kissed a someone with a penis
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Hippo gnu deer
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
