obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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