her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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