how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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