Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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