is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
