So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
