I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
