i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
