i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
stop calling my apartment porn island.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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