She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
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