Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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