I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
