How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
