Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
