That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
