You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
