Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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