OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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