did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
