just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
