Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
of course. lets lasso hookers.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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