he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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