Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
