why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
