47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
