You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
