I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
