Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
