Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i came on her dog
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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