You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
