he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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