grandma shit on top of the toilet
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize