I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
