I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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