Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
