Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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