Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
