I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I party with great urgency now.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
