I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
