i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
