in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
